As it was a long holiday weekend this is appearing on a Tuesday versus a Monday. I hope you enjoyed some time with family, friends relaxing and being thankful to our Vetrans.
Truthfulness or in the Yoga Sutras it is Satya, saying the truth but not doing so in a way that is harmful, as that would not be practicing Ahimsa (no-harming). My British mother always told my siblings and I if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anthing at all. While I agree there are times that speaking the truth is necessary.
I am known for my directness, I am honest but truly work to do so in a way to promote growth and positive reinforcement. I have done this as a swim coach, trainer in all my past jobs, as a teacher trainer, manager of the teachers at the studio and so far I have worked to be up front and honest with my kids when they ask questions. Now I try to tailor it to age appropriateness, like when my daughter asked when she was five about how people die. Now my son has asked the same question but also will I die and his daddy. The balance of course was being honest that yes we will but doing it in a way to not freak him out. Not easy believe me.
This week I had to have more of a rogue mole removed and honestly the bandage on it looks pretty bad. My daugther knew I had to go back to the Dermatologist so she was not as worried but when my son saw it, you could see his fear. It took some quick thinking on my part to be honest but soothe his fear that one of his would have to be taken out. I talked to him about it and he seemed to calm down but I am anticipating another conversation once he sees the stiches.
The whole truth and nothing but? Or should it be honesty given with a sense of balance toward what will aide in the other person's growth. I am honored that my kids trust I will tell them the truth in an honest but safe way and I am also honored that those I teach with also know I will be direct but with the intention of their aiding growth.
So, next time you are asked for feedback or a question take a moment to find the balance of telling the truth but with the intention of aiding growth.
Overall a very lovely weekend, filled with lots of good times with friends.
Do you have a question in your life that you wish you had an answer for but struggle to find? I have, there is a question I keep asking the universe and spin in my mind trying to understand but have yet to come up with an answer or explanation. In many religious traditions as well as in the study of the Yoga Sutras it is said that our attachment to finding all the answers is the source of our own suffering.
In my case my spinning of why is actually making me feel worse and stuck. Our theme for the month at Tranquil Space, where I teach, has been surrender. Along with that theme I read a poem this week in my classes, "Black-Eyed Susans" by Danna Faulds, which ends with these lines:
Answers not found in the
fresh faces of the flowers
are simply not worth seeking.
When this question of mine has come up this week I have recited these lines to myself, as logically I know the answer I seek is not easily found nor understood but my heart is struggling. The question instead I have been asking my heart is, is it really worth seeking? I won't find the answer in the "fresh faces of the flowers" so it is time to surrender it to the universe and allow myself to move forward. Easier said than done but isn't that part of the lesson?
That would be the weather report both outside and my inside temperament. Those of you that are my fellow DC Metro area folks know that we have had a long stretch of cloudy and rainy days. I do love the sunshine and warmth but my internal clouds might be a reflection of something else like broken sleep, busy days, and lack of self care. With recent additions to my schedule as well as my children's, my own self care has taken a sideline. Believe me this is not good for any of the Carranza clan in the long run. It is also showing up in my daily interaction with those close to me. A stretch of sunny days I know would help but taking some time for my own mental health is certainly a priority.
For myself it is planning what will bring out the sunshine for me internally every day. . While walking my dogs the past two days I have taken to moving at a slower pace which gave me the chance to find half of a robin's egg the ground. The beauty of the blue and the perfect shape of it was quite amazing. Today and Saturday I get to lead a Tots & Tykes charity class to benefit LAMB PCS (my kid's school) so the smiles of the toddlers and sharing my love of yoga will be one of my rays today. Then some much needed soaks in the bathtub, scheduling time with girlfriends, more yoga and finding a good book to immerse myself in for a few days should help me reset.
How do you reset to shift from cloudy with a chance of grumpy to let the sun shine!? We can all use some new ideas.
Tuesday I was leading a mindfulness lesson with my daughter's class, my girl is a 3rd grader, about emotions and our reactions.
This discussion/lesson was a 2nd part to a previous one about emotions, some being very strong and how to create space between our strong emotion and our reaction. While discussing how taking three or more breaths can create space between our strong emotion and what we do next, I realized that I had failed putting this into practice that very morning. I reminded the kids that it is a practice, mindfulness is just like their soccer, piano, swimming, dance practices and if we are honest, life. We will all make mistakes, some days it will be easier to create this space and others not so much.
My five year old boy has been in a phase where he is sassing me when it is time to feed the animals (his morning chore), get shoes on to leave for school, eat dinner, or well you name it and I get sass back. Since this lesson I have been focusing on creating space between my strong emotions (anger, frustration) and my reaction. During the course of a day there are many ups and downs, so each moment I catch myself reacting too soon I mentally cut myself some slack, take a breath and try again.
Each moment is a practice in doing the best we can and while I have many moments I wish I could redo, that is not possible so I can only focus on where I am now and start again.
P.S. still time to come practice with me on the mat tonight at Tranquil Space for some arm balancing fun which in turn means being in the moment, breathing.
The idea of thorns and roses I got from a fellow mom friend and it is something I do with my kids as we are saying goodnight. It is a great way to find out what happened in their day. So, I want to introduce this for my blog as the weekend wrap up. This weekend was a cloudy and rainy one in DC so in some ways that makes it both a thorn and a rose.
I am a DC based yoga teacher, wife, mother of two kids and three animals who is using yoga both on and off the mat to find balance.